7 Steps to living the Life of Your Dreams

Last weekend I stood beside my very close friend and together we said goodbye to her mama. She was no ordinary woman – She was a lady and a Sexy Mama.

Sitting at the memorial listening to her family talk about her I remembered some of the extrardinary things that she had demonstrated in her life and how important those lessons are for anyone wanting to live a good life.

Abundance mentality – In this home there was always more than enough to go around. Enough food, love, warmth, attention. If you arrived unexpectedly a plan would always be made without you feeling unwelcome. Frugality was checked at the door. She lived from a belief that life is abundant, that the universe provides and it worked for her!

Strong family bond – this sexymama was such a matriarch that her family all lived within walking distance of her. The family bond is so important in times of hardship, heartache, happiness, celebration,when you have been thrown a curve ball in life and when life couldnt be better. If you have family you have everything you need. So many times when i went there you’d find 4 generations all lying together on mama’s bed watching TV or chatting and laughing together. This sexy mama was a lioness when it came to protecting her family. She knew the importance of family and she embraced it.

 Moral Compass – This sexy mama didn’t take any crap. She was loving, and warm, but she was also pretty friken scary if you crossed her.  Her moral compass was set to true north and there was no bullshit. Her boundaries we firmly in place. She knew what her standards were, what she believed and what she would accept – if it fell outside of that it had no place in her home.

Passion  – SM was all about passion. Passion for her garden, her cooking, her beloved Italian opera, her kids, her grandkids, her extremely successful business. everything she did she poured her passion into.

Hard Work – SM worked hard. There was no 2 ways about it. She ran a very successful guesthouse, an office of a leading estate agency and was the top seller within her province for many years running – but it never looked like a hardship or a slog or someting she resented, she ran them all with grace, with passion and with immense joy which leads us to the very important next point…

Gratitude – SM worked, played, loved, laughed, cried, mourned, celebrated all with immense gratitude. She had an inate understanding that Gratitude is the combination lock that opens the door to your best life.

and last but not least

A Big Heart – helping the less fortunate – For this Sexymama helping the less fortunate was really important and so she was involved in soup kitchens, helped out people within her community that needed a helping hand and was a real champion for the underdog. Some of the loudest sobs at the service were from the ladies that had faithfully worked for SM most of their adult lives.Screen Shot 2017-07-17 at 3.28.01 PM

And thats all it takes to live the life of your dreams. As soon as one of these steps or principles is ignored or sidelined your life will start going to the dogs. You dont have to be wealthy to apply these principles, you dont even need to have family in the traditional sense – you can create a family by creating strong bonds in your tribe. When you break it down its not that hard – it just needs to be practised everyday.

So thats what I learned from this Sexy Mama. I can only hope when it comes time for people to speak about me that they can honestly say some of these things too.





The Dreaded “V” Word….

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When I made the decision to work with a business coach i expected motivational strategies to deal with marketing, financing and HR – i don’t know what i expected. What i didn’t expect was that it would take me on a journey of intense personal reflection, soul searching and require that i work through things I have happily buried deep and kept from everyone around me including me. The idea of vulnerability being a prerequiste for good business was pretty foreign to me and probably to you too. But what i’ve come to understand and been guided through is the idea that without vulnerability and the prerequiste trust that it assumes, we cannot be Authentic. And without authenticity we are not special – we are not seen. We are just grey shapes in a grey crowd.

Heady stuff admittedly and actually bloody inconvenient when what i’m trying to do is drive sales and hurry up about it. I’m joking of course (sort of) but it did lead me on a little expedition to find out more about vulnerabiity and what is written about it as well as trying to apply it to my life in every sphere. i discovered a fantastic book (well in my case audio book since i rarely have time to read ) by Brene Brown called “The Power of Vulnerablity”. She’s such a great speaker. She’s an academic, a researcher and someone for whom vulnerability is not a naturally occuring state. its funny how the world works – once you are interested in something it appears everywhere. Suddenly Tony Robbins is shouting about it, its in other books i read, articles, I fully expect to see it on a billboard tomorrrow morning.

Without authenticity we cannot take our business to the level of art like Seth Godin speaks of it. He says, and I agree (hope i’m not f*@£king it up Seth )- but what i understand is that in order to survive in the current climate we have to be artists – and what we do we need to see as our craft – that thing that we are passionate about – something that we are always striving to master and hone. But more than that there has to be a genuine connection and communication with our clients, our audience, our customers that can only be provided when authenticity comes in to play. That elevates what we do to an art rather than a job. As exhausting as it sounds I believe it will be a very exciting and passion filled adventure and i am excited to be on this ride. But before i jump into the frey I’m going to take some great advice from the uber successful Arianna Huffington and I’m going to have a nap.

TED TALKS – Brene Brown